Seminary Survival Guide

some reflections on neurodiversity + life values

It’s week five of year two at seminary! our classes and field ed have begun, we’ve already had our once-a-semester quiet day, I’ve served in chapel services twice already, and every class, event, and assignment deadline has come and gone at a dizzying speed. I am all too aware how quickly the next 18 months will pass and suddenly I’ll be walking in a graduation ceremony. I am adamant about my intentionality in this season of formation, so I took some time before the semester to write out a “survival guide” for myself. I thought I’d share it with you today so you can get a glimpse of my world. and if you’re in a similar season of life as me, please feel welcome to take what is useful to you and mold it to fit your practices or priorities.

my seminary survival guide is divided into two parts: caring for myself as a neurodivergent person (in my case, as an autistic person with ADHD), and my values and priorities. I aim to add more sections whenever I feel like I need reminders in a certain area.

I’m going to annotate this bullet point list with italicized bullet points to share some further reflections on my past or present experiences with these actions or values. hopefully this is an encouraging opportunity for you to reflect on your own self-care for your unique way of being in this world, or a chance for you to reflect on your own values and priorities.

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section 1: caring for myself as a neurodivergent person

• you decide what the most important thing is, each day, every day. If you want that to be grades some days, that’s great. If every day’s priority is grades, you will burn out.

  • when I was in high school and particularly when I was in my undergrad, grades were matters of life and death to me. I am learning to loosen my grasp on grades as a marker of my worth, because I have learned that my worth is inherent.

• accommodate yourself and ask others to accommodate you.

  • with my new diagnoses of autism and ADHD, I can apply for academic accommodations now. I am still learning how to take advantage of that. I also am learning that most accommodations I might need aren’t related to the academic portion of a class, but my environment and my sensory concerns.

• some days you will be overstimulated, some days you will be understimulated. Create a care plan for each type of day and how you will respond in various circumstances.

  • I have yet to create this care plan. a project for fall break!

• if you need to skip a class or event, communicate why (as much as you are comfortable). humanize yourself to those around you.

  • so far this semester, I have only skipped one (optional) event that I intended to go to, and I think the rest of this self-care guide is part of the reason I am doing so well in that area. I’ve been accommodating myself.

• have a few stress-reliever activities that you can do on any given day when you need a break.

  • a few good activities for me include baking, thrift-shopping, video gaming, or putting together a puzzle.

• don’t fall for the ableist “rise and grind” tumblr posts that populate Pinterest. You are not a robot. You have human needs before you have academic goals.

  • I am astounded at how many of these I see online. it’s so unhealthy to put grades above one’s own health, and yet I used to think this way. I am unlearning it partly because of my limitations as a neurodivergent person with mental illness, and partly because I have redirected my values.

• find dopamine-inducing rewards that you can give yourself as you complete your daily tasks.

  • this is a great way to help work with my ADHD instead of against it. finish your laundry? great, play a video game! do your reading for the day? get yourself a cute sticker! (sidenote: why did I ever lose interest in stickers as a young adult? they are so fun!)

• don’t be afraid to meet with TAs, professors, and advisors whenever you need guidance.

  • I could definitely keep improving this one. as bigger assignments begin to come up this semester, I really want to be good at asking questions.

• hydrate and nourish your body. get moving as often as possible.

  • I’m 50/50 on this practice. I’ve been struggling with food lately, as someone who has major sensory issues around food. but I’ve been doing great at hydrating and taking walks!

• sort your readings by priority. read what you can. don’t sweat the rest.

  • this is just an essential part of grad school life. there is always more to be read, but my health is a bigger priority.

• don’t neglect your therapy and doctor’s appointments.

  • I do pretty good at this as a person that simply needs to be cared for by a health team. I’m switching doctors for the fourth time in as many years this October (each of the times was for a cross-state move or insurance reasons), so keep me in your prayers as I seek out caring and understanding medical and mental health professionals.

section 2: values and priorities

• worship, pray, study, eat, gather, rest, repeat.

  • this is sort of the “flow” at VTS. each of these pieces is vital, without one, the others don’t work.

• “don’t study because you need to. study because knowledge is power… because it grows you.”

  • I want to amend this sentence a bit. “study because knowledge is a privilege being offered to you now… because it gives you the opportunity to grow.” I seek to work towards a world where knowledge is equitably accessible, and I am aware that just knowing something doesn’t automatically make me a better person. for example, I have to practice my anti-racist values. I can’t just read about them in a book.

• “everyone in academia is smart. distinguish yourself by being kind.”

  • this mindset is so vital for me, as a person that always wants to be the smartest in the room. I have to push against that temptation by seeking to share the knowledge rather than withhold it.

• surround yourself with motivated and intentional people. in seminary, this doesn’t just mean the smartest people in the room.

  • I feel like I am learning to better appreciate the diversity of the people here at seminary. academic brilliance may be valued by the institution, but above that, I value connection, compassion, and the choice to consistently show up.

• integration and synthesis are important. you can “unplug” old beliefs/values and replace them with new ones, but recognize that this has an impact on other beliefs/values that you have.

  • this is something I learned about myself recently. some people have a hard time replacing old beliefs with new ones. I’m a very all-or-nothing person, so I can pretty quickly “unplug” old beliefs or values and “plug in” new ones. but I’m learning that other people don’t always process beliefs that way! and I’m also learning that everything is connected, so changing my beliefs should be done with care.

• lifelong, life-wide, and life-deep learning. you are being formed for the rest of your life.

  • “life-wide” and “life-deep” are some words that one of my professors uses all the time. these words remind me that all aspects of my life are touched by this seminary education: from the spiritual to physical, from inner emotional life to relational life in community. this type of formation is helping me re-conceive my past, shape my present, and dream about my future.

• rejoice with those who rejoice, and mourn with those who mourn. don’t gossip with those who gossip.

  • it’s vital for me to invest my heart into caring for other people’s lives and stories. however, it’s not good to fall into the trap of tolerating gossip just because I want to empathize with others. in my opinion empathy is not an excuse for talking negatively about people.

• rest is not an option; it is mandatory. if you treat rest like an option, it will force itself upon you in unpleasant ways.

  • pretty self-explanatory; academia is grueling, and I’ve got to find moments to unwind.

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thank you for hearing these values from me, friends! if you are a student, I send blessings to you, whether near or far, as you continue your educational formation. may you be ever growing into your most authentic self.

—m.